Mom code

I read a book awhile back that talked about how to find your identity after becoming a mom. I remember a section in there that talked about how you get into these conversations on the playground with other moms. It talked about trying to change up the way in which we have a conversation to try and have it not be all about our kids. At any rate the other day I went to the mall with the kids to look for a gift and decided it would be good to also let the kids play in the play area. I stood off to the side and just watched my kids play. I overheard a mom comment about her kids crazy hat head. She probably wasn’t meaning to be heard, but I chimed in and said something like its the season of static. Something so little turned into a comfortable conversation about our kids. We small talked about food, ages, behaviors all on a very surface level. Then it was time to go, as I herded my kids to the stroller we smiled at each other and said have a great day.

It was good to talk to another adult, someone who was relate able. However I left that conversation and that area feeling weird. I felt ok we talked and she seems great, but I never got her name, and know nothing else about her except that she has two kids. I will probably never see her again, bummer. All this made me think of how many times I have done this and as great as it was to chat, I wonder if there is something else I could be doing. Should I be reaching out more or would that be weird. I don’t know the answer, but all too often I run into this problem; I have the kids and so I am distracted and hold a conversation that is frequently interrupted by kids needing help or other distractions. The other problem is that if I don’t have the kids then I tend to not talk to strangers, I may smile but usually I avoid.

This results in very few new relationships or opportunities to share in life with others. Sure I have a great group of friends but I am thinking about the future. In Uganda I am going to be faced with needing to connect to others and I will need to figure out how I can build relationships and resources by meeting people in strange places, like the grocery store or playground. I wonder if anyone ever has also wanted the same type of interaction with people when they go to the local playground…why do we not swap information and follow up for another play date? When I figure it out then I will share it with all that want help decoding the mom code. And just to be clear I don’t use my kids to try and meet people, I just want someone to talk to that doesn’t need me to get them a fruit snack or help them use the bathroom. 🙂


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