I haven’t posted in a while but I have been jotting down my thoughts in a journal through this fostering process. Here is a look into my head and heart.
You know the saying common sense isn’t so common. When you haven’t been shown by example how to problem solve or maybe shown the wrong way to solve a problem you just accept things as they are. Fostering day 4- If I dwell on the absence of knowledge and don’t teach correct behavior I will foster continued ignorance. 17th December- They don’t know the joy of Christmas, never received gifts, they don’t even really know their birth dates. It hasn’t bothered them, but it bothers me. What traditions do you have, any? I don’t just want to push American tradition on them, but if they have no tradition can’t we make our own together? 19 Dec. I feel like the honeymoon period is over, which is a good thing as we can start to try and build real relationships. Communication is our biggest obstacle not only through actual language, but the idea that the proper way to deal with problems is through talking it out. Culturally in Uganda the child should not talk to the parent, just accept everything and hide their emotions. We knew this because we see it everyday, especially in the school setting. The teacher talks you listen and you only respond when called upon. If you don’t understand then too bad, it is up to you to figure out a way around that problem. How then to we teach them to exhibit good speaking and communication skills? Eye contact, voice control loud enough to hear without raising voice disrespectfully, speak clearly, listen to the question and respond appropriately (even if the response is “I don’t understand.”)
We are trying to help by playing games as a family that incorporate some of these skills, talking to them the way we want to be spoken to, allowing them an outlet to speak their hearts and minds to both the social worker and our male mentors (coaches). This process is one that of course is difficult for all members involved, it hasn’t always been amazing. However, as we allow GOD to work in our lives, hearts, minds and entire being we will find answers to questions and peace in knowing the right things to do and say.
Pray for us as we start again a new phase in this process of fostering. The boys begin school next week Tendo is in P.7 (last year of primary) Kitiibwa (p. 4-5) he failed to pass last year due to many factors but mostly he is a very poor reader, we are trying to work on his reading ability to increase so he can show that he knows the material covered from P.4. Happy starts P.4 prayers that he also improves with speaking, and understanding written and spoken English. Pray for Matt as he runs two programs and manages the fundraising and leadership in our home. Prayers for Jacob and Parker as they progress through their education and adaption to having older brothers in the home. Myself as I balance life as a teacher (and head of Early Years), tutoring, parenting and spiritual walk and health.
To be continued…