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From Boxing day to New Years

Boxing day- there is not much that I understand about what Boxing day really is but I do know they honor it as a holiday here in Uganda. For me it meant that I decided to take down the Christmas decorations. There is now a big bare area in the corner of our living room, I spent the morning cleaning and got Matt to hang my new picture frame. Matt is finally taking the time to finish our picnic style kitchen table…a project started in the summer. I am hopeful it will be completed before the new year (fingers crossed).  When I think of boxing day it actually makes me think of two things actual boxes and punching someone. When I looked up the meaning I gathered these facts: A box- a present; servants were given the day off and possibly a “box” from their master; kind of like “black Friday” in America where stores had Big sales; celebrated in Britain, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and other commonwealth countries (originated in England 19th century).

It made me wonder what are some traditions or “public” holidays that don’t really mean what we thought? There are holidays that are strictly American Martin Luther King Jr. Day, George Washington’s Birthday, Memorial Day, (Independence day is universal but is specific to each country), Labor day, Columbus day, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving day. In fact, the only two holidays that are celebrated pretty much universally are Christmas and New Year’s. It made me think about how people from all around the world celebrate differently. We hold different beliefs and traditions not only related to public holidays but also a whole list of reasons. The beauty in our world is that God created us all differently and it is evident in the variety of ethnicities and various backgrounds that we come from.

In this new year many people around the world think about what they want their new year to look like. Some have a word they choose to express what they want their year to represent. Resolutions to get something done or to start something new. I made a plan…a bit of a dream board style with goals and ways to get them accomplished. One thing that I want to do a better job of doing is to celebrate other people better. I want to be able to look at their culture and see it for what it is; invest more time in exploring people other than myself.

One way I am planning on doing this is with a project that I have dreamt about doing for a long time. I am working on making a children’s book to inspire children to explore the possibilities of doing anything they can dream of. I will travel around Uganda documenting jobs of people in Uganda and telling their story of how they got where they are. The real life stories of people they can relate to and allow them a way to dream bigger. My hope is that it will also inspire those who are doing a job they didn’t really want to do as a kid think how they can too dream bigger.

So what do you want to do this New Year that is not only for yourself but also for someone else? Maybe make this new year about getting to know someone else, celebrate a new culture or tradition, dream bigger and do something that you always wanted to do.

Have a Happy New Year!!!

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Good Good Father

Getting real with you again. I struggle with race. I struggle with why it matters. I know people will say it is because I am white, I have white privilege. Yes, true but when it comes to being a human being I can honestly say I care what race you are, what nationality you are, what religion you are. I care because you are a child of God. When we came to Uganda it wasn’t the first time that I helped people different from me. I don’t help people because of where they come from or what they look like. I help people because they are in need. I don’t help people because I am white, I don’t help people just because they don’t look like me. I help people because Jesus tells me to and because I love Jesus I love people.

Why am I writing this because I know that people won’t always understand why we are adopting 3 boys from another race, country and tribe different from our own. People won’t always understand why we are living in another country other than our own, helping people from a different race, religion, country, tribe, tongue than ours. Simple, because Jesus did. You see I am proud of who I am what God created me to be and I can’t change that. I embrace who God made me to be because I don’t want anyone to feel they need to be ashamed of where they come from, who God created them to be.

Adoption is not an easy calling and often I feel people who adopt get a bad wrap. The stories of the children often are the ones people hear about. The stories of the parents who adopt are often forgotten or not even heard. I am not trying to discount all the pain that a child who is adopted goes through, but open your heart to the heartache that someone who adopts goes through. People who adopt do so for a variety of reasons and some can be selfish, but most often it is because they feel a calling to help.

An adoptive parent has to handle all the emotional trauma that the child goes through. Raise a child that is not theirs, often one that doesn’t look like them. Raise a child who may never call them mom or dad, a child who always longs to be with their “real” parents. Raise a child who they couldn’t have, raise a child along with their biological child, raise a child after they have already raised their own. An adoptive parent has to balance what is emotionally healthy for the child to have interaction with biological relatives, learn a culture that is not naturally theirs, learn a language or traditions that don’t come naturally. Worry that they are raising a child who will one day leave them to live with someone else, reject them, resent them, never grow to love them.

Very rarely is there a child who literally has no one still alive that has their blood. Unless their entire family was killed in war or accident they have someone who has relation to them. The idea that you should place a child with a relative sounds good in theory. To place a child in their own culture also sounds great in theory. To place a child with someone who can relate to them because they “look” the same as they do also great it theory. But what happens when those people who are related to them, looks like them, comes from their same culture are the same people who tortured them, abandoned them, enslaved them, abused, neglected and rejected them. Then is that still the best placement for them. What if no one wants to help three boys and keep them together. What if their own family can’t provide for their basic needs to live. What if their own family left them, sold all their things and abandoned them.

Adoption usually isn’t a beautiful process, there is always hurt involved in adoption. Always financial strain, emotional strain, marital strain, and relationship strain. Adoption is a beautiful thing but the road and journey is not easy, the reality is that adoption happens only if there is something that has been lost. The hope is that adoption can work only with intervention from Jesus, healing can only happen through Jesus.

I will leave you with this if you are someone who has adopted, thank you for taking that leap of faith. If you have been adopted, understand that everyone’s story is different and I hope that you have been able to find healing in Jesus’ name. If you are considering adopting, I will let you know it is not an easy road, but if you are doing it for the right reasons then it is something you should do. If you are a sceptic or critic of adoption I hope that you will attempt to look at adoption from all sides of the story. The way that I look at life is that Jesus is my “adoptive” father, he is the one who will never leave me or hurt me. Jesus is always here for you and for me no matter what our earthly father means to us and our story.

*I must say I am thankful that I have an earthly father who has always loved me, cared for me, prayed for me, supported me and disciplined me. I am thankful that my earthly father has pointed me to my heavenly father so that I knew no matter if my earthly father left this earth I would always have a father with me.

I love the song- “Good, Good Father” by Chris Tomlin and can honestly say I have been blessed.

 

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Grandma Deeeeee

This holiday season we are away from our extended family and I will admit the memories come flooding for me. My grandma Dee (my mom’s mom) always brings back great memories of Christmas time. The travel to Beatrice, Ne wasn’t long and so the time spent in the car wasn’t torture like when we would travel to Iowa. I can’t compare the two places for Christmas, because they were different in so many ways. One thing was the same though memories. The memories I made were generally with my cousins and sleeping in sleeping bags or on sofas. We would play games, we would make up songs, we would talk about how lame it was to play with younger cousins (who now we totally would hang out with). Grandma Dee always made every child feel unique even if they got the same gift as their cousin who was in their age range. She always had Christmas cookies, we ate pizza at least once, because when you have 14 grand kids you order pizza.

The reason I decided to dedicate this blog to my grandma Dee is that she used to send out emails updating us on her many adventures. She would literally tell us at times everything she did. I was just looking through my emails and saw that I had saved some old family emails from my grandma. It was an email from 2009 when she was travelling in Colorado. She was so funny when she wrote often laughing at her own jokes. My mom does the same things now a bit shorter stories (and usually about Nebraska sports and weather). I will probably do the same when my kids get to the age of emails…if that is still something that exists when they are older.

Memories are something that can bring joy and a bit of sadness. I miss both my grandma’s a lot during the holidays. My grandma Ruby passed away on Christmas eve when I was a freshman in college. It changed the holiday for all of us because Christmas was one of my grandma Ruby’s favorite holidays.  She literally would have a pile of presents surrounding her chair and she wouldn’t open them because she was too busy watching everyone else open theirs. She didn’t want to miss any joy from her loved ones. She would then have the grand kids help her open hers so we wouldn’t have to wait forever. She always cried every single time that we had to leave to go back home, she just wanted her kids and grand kids to live near her so she could show them love all the time.

My grandma Dee was on one of her adventures when she passed away in her sleep. She always said she didn’t want to die old like her mother who lived until she was 96. She wanted to live life to the fullest never wanting to be any burden to anyone. She was a giver not a taker, I would say she also loved Christmas, but more for the family time and servant hood that she could provide.

This Christmas season is difficult for many, but what I have tried to remind myself is that each year we can reflect on the things of the world or we can reflect on the things of eternity. I am so thankful that both my grandma’s are in heaven and putting all the traditions and family time memories aside the reason for Christmas is only Christ. It is not about what we gain from the season from the people on earth, but what we gained on ONE Christmas which was Jesus. I am so blessed to come from a long line of followers of Jesus and one day when my grand kids think of memories of me I want them to remember one main thing… Jesus!

Merry CHRISTmas.